What do you think of these poems? im not a professional writer only 13?

CHANGES

I thought that nothing could be better again,

No matter how hard I tried I would never win.

Little did I know change would soon begin,

And my loneliness would come to an end.

Now my days are full with fun and laughter,

I know now what I was truely after.

Compassion and love were all my heart required,

So now I sit here full and complete,and can finally rest my head and goto sleep.

GODS CHILD

Beep,Beep,Beep,the monitor rang,

I'm only a kid!

My hair fell out,

My skin discolored,

Yet I'm only a kid.

No cure for me,

I have no say in the world,

I'm as hopeless as a stray dog looking for food,

And still, I'm only a kid.

Every night as I lay my head to goto sleep, I wonder if this Could be my last day, I don't deserve this worry, after all

I'm only a kid.

And one day when I lay motionless and rise I'll ask the Lord "why?"

He'll reply," Because you're my child and unfortunate things happen to innocent people."

I knew he was right,after all

I'm only a kid.

What do you think of these poems? im not a professional writer only 13?

Good. I like the first one best. Try to make your readers visualize and feel what your speaking about, not tell them exactly what it is. Poetry is about conveying thoughts through words but not telling a story. (cause that would be ..... writing a story)

For example. rather than "My hair fell out" something more like "the thin whispy hair fell to the ground like feathers on the wind" or "the sun shined on the hairless scalp"

and "my skin dicolored"..... what color was is? what did it feel like? what did the color represent?

Keep writing. Keep dreaming. Keep on your own path and follow your soul.

What do you think of these poems? im not a professional writer only 13?

Good work...............and you show real promise!

best of luck to you!

What do you think of these poems? im not a professional writer only 13?

thay are lovely,good job!...xxx

What do you think of these poems? im not a professional writer only 13?

it is wonderful....

thanks for sharing it.

What do you think of these poems? im not a professional writer only 13?

These are very good! (applause)